She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize