i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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