im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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