the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize