I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
