Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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