her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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