is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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