I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
