Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i love accidental penises.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
