Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
3pm strippers are depressing
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
