false alarm. still invincible.
In America we eat man semen.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize