all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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