yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
