he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
