Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
