Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
