Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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