I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
