so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
