But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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