YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
