Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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