Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize