LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Randomize
