I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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