At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
