You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
