im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
