rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You are a genius and a whore.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
