how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
