Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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