Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
