Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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