This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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