You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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