and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
