If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
