i'm lost and i look like a hooker
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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