Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
