There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize