I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
