Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Green mimosas i think yes
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
