Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
