3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
