I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
