Porn is love you can see.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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