I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
