watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
