and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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