Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
