I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
