My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize