Need sex. Gaining weight.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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