We won't sleep together?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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