Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
its liver damage thursday
Randomize