I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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