and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
