vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
