Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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