That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
