there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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