i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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