I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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