is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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