I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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