the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
