he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
