Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
